Historical Context

Wednesday, December 10

/.../ I suddenly realised that today was my birthday. I have just turned 15. It is hard to sense the passing of time. It passes so fast and then we realise and discover all of a sudden – just like I did today, for example – that days and even months have passed and the ghetto is not a painful cowering moment of a dream that always vanishes, but vast mire sucking in days and weeks. Today, I was obsessed by a single idea: I decided not to waste my time carelessly in the ghetto. After all, I am happy to have an opportunity to study, to improve myself, to realise that the time does not stand still and to tread forward normally with it. I believe that I live a normal daily life in the ghetto, but sometimes I hesitate anxiously: of course I was entitled to a better life; do I have to see the gate of the ghetto day after day surrounded by walls? Is this single narrow street and a few packed and suffocating yards are the only things I get to see during the best years of my life?
Although my head is filled with various thoughts, I can feel two things very clearly. The first one is regret and distress. I would like to cry out to the Time itself: wait, don’t rush! I would like to seize my past few years and keep them for the future, for my new life. The second thing that I can feel today is strength and hope. I do not feel despair. Today, I turned 15 and I live with the faith in the future, and I see the Sun before me. Sun and only Sun…
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